Life On Loop: Confessions of a Home Worker
I’ve been living the same day on loop for six months.
I’ve been living the same day on loop for six months.
I’ve been living the same day on loop for six months.
In true Beetlejuice fashion, a dead-eyed figure in three-day old attire and a faded mug in hand stands before me as our concerted gaze meets briefly before immediately diverting to the floor. Throwing the packaging from an Amazon delivery of Nescafé Azera into the nearby bin, slippers glued to his feet and only the glow of his desktop screens to illuminate the room, he retires to his desk chair as his break has come to an end and it’s time to go back to work. This mirror is in desperate need of a clean.
Etching another line onto the tally chart of days at home, each day repeats as follows; waking, walking, working, washing and winding down. These days are starting to feel all too similar and working from home is starting to feel monotonous, what the f*!@ is a Friday feeling?
Living your day on loop isn’t too bad, having built a rapport with the postman and given temporary names to the neighbours and their pets (I’m yet to meet), I’ll be besides myself if the neighbouring gentleman and his bull terrier aren’t called Sergio and Bandit. There are only so many times you can ask a house cat if she’s working hard or hardly working or if the dog has any weekend plans, maybe I’m slowly losing my mind. I think so.
I used to tend bar in a music venue, working from home for six months has soured my tolerance and comfort of being amongst large crowds. I’m working back up to it as if taking wobbly stepping stones back to the ordinary. From opting to take my time in a crowded supermarket (and not like I’m a contestant on Supermarket Sweep) to spending time in a bustling city centre on a Saturday lunchtime, small steps feel crucial.
Fear plays an integral part of our lives, allowing fear to control our decision making process is regressive. Being in a crowd at a festival, gig or even at work would have been easy two years ago, I will get that back. Being combative is key to regaining normality.
I’m making changes, I have to.
Coffee makes me feel fast but herbal tea makes me feel at one with myself, juice tastes sweet but water tastes like being an adult. Daily vitamins make me feel like I’m taking care of myself and practicing gratitude is yielding interesting results.
Ending each evening expressing gratitude for the day is wholesome but being grateful for not being a Yorkshire Ripper victim or ~spoiler warning~ that Tyrion Lannister survived the entirety of Game of Thrones doesn’t seem like it’s being expressed correctly.
What I’m trying to say is that nothing changes until something changes. We’ll get there, post-pandemic is the new normal, it’s time to be hopeful, one day at a time.
